matt grant

it's all about you

It can be tempting to compare ourselves to others.

To look at what other people have, at what other people do, at how other people live their lives and to judge ourselves based on what we see. We can take it so far as to evaluate someone’s advice based on our opinion of them.

It can also be tempting to judge other people based on how we think they should behave.

To take our own values and project these onto their life.

But these activities are mostly useless. Not only do we never have the whole picture, but even if we did, we wouldn’t be any better off. We can only control ourselves. Everyone’s circumstances are different. Everyone acts according to their own self interest. According to what they believe.

Just focus on yourself. Consider what you can learn. Ask yourself what you can gain from other people in order to create a better version of yourself. What can you take from their experience and apply to your own life?

Don’t be so quick to dismiss someone’s opinion because you don’t agree with some of the choices they’ve made. Ask which parts are relevant and useful. Then take those, and leave everything else.

Instead of wishing your life was different, set about finding a way to change it.

Instead of wishing somebody would change, enjoy them for who they are.

Instead of making it about them, make it about you.